Deep Dark Inside.

The windows of his room were always closed,he had once mentioned it in his journal that he hated the sunshine.Frankly, I never understood the logic, of him constantly being away from sunlight.He was always a fan of the dark.He loved the sight of the sky when it was filled with stars,the reflection of the moon in the lake and the silence of the night.It gave him a sense of peacefulness.I was fascinated by the way his mind worked.

I used to see him every Thursday's,he was at the health care centre for his anxiety disorder.Initially,I was a mere volunteer there,but after a few weeks I had realised that people here needed emotional support more than anybody else out there.So I started taking the visits more seriously and during these visits I met Vineet.

Vineet was a simple guy from 12th Grade,he had a terrifying back story,which had resulted in the number of anxieties he had.His parents just couldn't handle the severity of his disorder and hence he was here at this health care centre.I didn't notice him until I saw him sitting behind the garden area writing something in a book. I approached him,he got conscious and quickly closed his book and ran away.I enquired about him and figured out his room number 

I entered the room when he was out for the regular drill.I noticed the same book near his pillow in which he was writing the other day.I couldn't help but notice the neatness of the room.I sat down and opened his journal.I knew what I was doing was wrong but  read it anyway,tears rolled down my cheek.The words he used to pen down his pain were appalling.I was moved by the maturity in his writing.

The next time I saw him was at the weekly movie day.Everybody used to assemble in this room and enjoyed and socialised with other people and talked and laughed together. Vineet didn't do any of it.I tried talking to him for a month.But it was all in vain.

I was annoyed at the fact,that things in the past, effects the future so much that it takes away every ounce of happiness you could've had.The manager of that place saw my failed attempts and sat me down and told me how things had turned out badly for him in his childhood.How the people he trusted had exploited him and how he had stopped believing that there was any good left. Vineet was so damaged inside that there was no looking back.He was once a cheerful lad,an avid reader,a fantastic writer.But as years passed his anxiety increased because of constant flashbacks of those dark days.Even if he tried, he couldn't come out of that trap.I knew all of it.But I couldn't stop myself from trying.

The walls he had built around himself to protect himself,were now suffocating him.He stopped going to college and threw fits if anybody even came near to talk to him.His loneliness grew out on him and the darkness he lived in killed him from within.He was not alive anymore. He died the same day when his happy childhood was snatched away from him.He searched for it for almost 6 years,but when he failed to find it,he went back to his shell,deep dark inside,and never returned.